Lipstick in School

According to a news report, a certain private school in Sydney was recently faced with a unique problem.  A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.  She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.  Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

True story-Lawyer insures cigars

Charlotte , North Carolina.

 A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and
 expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.

 Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great
 cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on
 the policy the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.

 In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost “in a series of
 small fires.”

 The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that
 the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

 The lawyer sued.. and WON!

 (Stay with me.)

 Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company
 that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the
 lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that
 the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure
 them against fire, without defining what is considered to be
 unacceptable fire” and was obligated to pay the claim.

 Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
 company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his
 loss of the cigars lost in the “fires”.

 NOW FOR THE BEST PART..

 After the lawyer cashed the cheque, the insurance company had him
 arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!

 With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case
 being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally
burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail
 and a $24,000 fine.

WHAT MEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A VAGINA FOR A DAY

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it’s truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes … BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

WHAT WOMEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A PENIS FOR A DAY
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can’t hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it’s like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man’s eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9……

Odd facts

Fish scales are an ingredient in most lipsticks.

On average, every chocolate bar contains at least three insect legs.

More Monopoly money is printed yearly than real money throughout the world.

About 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens each year.

“Adcomsubordcomphibspac” is the longest acronym. It is a Navy term standing for Administrative Command, Amphibious Forces, Pacific Fleet Subordinate Command.

“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.

11% of the world is left-handed.

315 words in the 1996 Webster’s dictionary were mispelled.

90% of New York City cab drivers are recently arrived immigrants.

It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with

Game Of The Day

 Deluxe Pool- Test Your skills Now!

Game Of The Day

Female Golfer

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several
minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works
at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at
him and said, “I think I like playing with men’s balls.”