TOP 10 EXCUSES FOR FALLING ASLEEP AT YOUR DESK
December 31, 2007
1 “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
2 “I wasn’t sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands.”
3 “I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”
4 “Amen”
5 “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.”
6 “Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper”
7 “I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress.”
8 “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”
9 “Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”
10 “Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”
What Time does the bar open?
December 30, 2007
At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour, later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. “What time does the bar open?” he asks. “Same time as before - noon,” replies the clerk. Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered. “Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?” The clerk then answers, “It opens at noon, but if you can’t wait, I can have room service send something up to you.” “No! I don’t wanna git in, ah wanna git OUT!”
Todays Quote
December 30, 2007
Everyone is entitled to have their own opinion, it’s just that yours is stupid.
From the vege patch
December 29, 2007
Office Olympics
December 28, 2007
Office Olympics is a hilarious viral video sensation. You will find a range of videos of diffrent office olympic events including cubicle hurdles,office chair/chariot races,trash can long jump & chair Hop do.
Very Funny and entertaining
Go to http://www.officeolympics.net/
which one is the cutest?
December 28, 2007
Which one is the cutest
There is a blonde, a brunette and a red head in a grade three class room…
Which one is the cutest?
……the blonde because shes eighteen
Today’s Quote
December 28, 2007
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg
A cracker of a surprise
December 27, 2007
WELLINGTON (Reuters) - A New Zealand woman who pulled apart a Christmas cracker got more than the party hat and joke she had expected, finding a dead mouse.
Betty Lawrence, a grandmother from the South Island city of Invercargill, made the discovery sitting down to Christmas dinner with 20 relatives, The Southland Times newspaper reported.
“I had said to my granddaughter ‘what’s the smell’ and we couldn’t work it out until we pulled the cracker,” Lawrence told the newspaper, after finding a dead and partially decomposed mouse.
The discovery curbed her enthusiasm for the Christmas meal.
“It ruined my appetite for the rest of the day,” Lawrence said.
Today’s quote
December 27, 2007
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
Failed frame Up
December 27, 2007
”Unusual” and “complicated” is how the Missaukee County sheriff described the mysterious death of 19-year-old Christopher.After an evening spent imbibing large quantities of alcohol, Christopher noticed a shortage in his liquor supply that could not be attributed to his own depredations. He concluded that his neighbor had stolen a bottle of booze! He menaced the neighbor with a knife, to no avail, whereupon he retired to his own apartment to brood about revenge.
Finally he figured out the perfect way to get back at that conniving bottle-thief: Christopher would stab himself and blame the neighbor!
A witness saw Christopher enter the bathroom as he called 911. He calmly informed the dispatcher that his neighbor had stabbed him. Witnesses said he looked fine when he emerged from the bathroom, but a moment later gouts of blood spewed from his chest. Suddenly he began screaming begging for help. The dispatcher heard a woman shout, “Why did you do this?” He collapsed at the door of his apartment.
Deputies arrived quickly, but Christopher had already bled to death from self-inflicted stab wounds to his chest. An autopsy determined that he had stabbed himself in the chest twice. The first wound apparently didn’t look dangerous enough, so he tried again. The second time, the knife plunged into his left ventricle. This wound was plenty dangerous: he had only two minutes to live.
Christopher died in vain. His deathbed accusation of his neighbor failed, as a witness confirmed that the neighbor was not in the apartment. All Christopher got for revenge was an accidental death sentence.
From The Darwin Awards
