Female Golfer

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several
minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works
at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at
him and said, “I think I like playing with men’s balls.”

Today’s joke

A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving
that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.
“I was only going 40!” the driver protested.
“Not according to my radar,” the trooper said.
“Yes, I was!” the man shouted back.
“No you weren’t!” the trooper said.
With that, the man’s wife leaned toward the window and said,
‘Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when
he’s been drinking.”

Signs You’ve Had Too Much Holiday Cheer

1. You strike a match and light your nose.

2. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.

3. You hear a duck quacking and it’s you.

4. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.

5. You refill your glass from the fish bowl.

6. You hear someone say, “Call a priest!”

7. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.

8. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.

9. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.

10. You tell everyone you have to go home… and the party’s at your place.

11. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.

12. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.

13. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room… and realize you’re in front of the hall mirror.

14. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.

15. You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.

Today’s Quote

“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”

Rodney Dangerfield

Darwin Awards-Grenade Juggler

(May 2001, Croatia) A college student dropped the ball when a hand grenade exploded while he juggled it at a party in Vidovci. Six students watching him were also injured. A spectator is usually disqualified from winning a Darwin Award caused by another’s idiocy, but this audience should have known better than to gape at a man juggling explosives. The six onlookers earn Honorable Mentions for their disregard of common sense, and the juggler wins a Darwin for his lethal stupidity.

Rudolph’s Surgery

Christmas was over. Santa and his reindeer finally had a chance to rest.  And
they deserved it. They had done a good job.

Rudolph had a chance to do something he had wanted to do for a long time. He
made an appointment with a plastic surgeon because he was so sensitive about
his looks.

However it wasn’t his glowing probiscus that he wanted changed.  He was proud
of his nose and the help he had given Santa because of it. No, he was sensitive
about his long ears which were much more prominent than the ears of the average
reindeer, or bear for that matter.

So one week after Christmas, he let the good doctor do the pinna reconstructive
surgery procedure, and since that time, January 1st has been  celebrated as …
New Ears Day.

Phone Booth Aqaurium

Try and make a call in this phone booth.

Something Fishy…….

Sand Art

Sand art

Clever Job Ad

Computer Job application

Todays Quote

“A word to the wise ain’t necessary - it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.”

Bill Cosby

« Previous Page — Next Page »